some very wise words got turned into a song: if ur homeless, js buy a house

if u dont have money to buy a house, sell your house

if ur homeless, js buy a house!
If you're blind, just see
If you have anxiety, just calm down
If you're having a heart attack, attack it back
If the operation has 50% of success, just do it twice
If you're choking, just breathe
If you have insomnia, just sleep
If you have Alzheimer's, just forget it
If you're dead, just come back to life

NEW QUOTE

"if someone asks for directions, give them the wrong ones so they can go on an adventure"
"being hated by idiots is the price you pay for not being one of them"
"no matter how big a hammer u use, u cant pound common sense into stupid people"
"why fall in love when you can just fall down the stairs"

and finally, the most LEGENDARY quote ever:
"if she leaves you for another, there's always her mother. if her mother leaves you for a mister, there's always her sister."